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The Top Five Lessons To Learn From “Do You Have Enough Sharks..

Posted on Jul 27th, 2006 by Tracy Phaup : CFO/CLO - Chief Fun and Leadership Tracy Phaup

By Coach Tracy
http://www.tracyaturner.com/

See "Do You Have Enough Sharks In Your Tank?"

There is a real depth of lessons available to us in the story of "Do you have enough sharks in your tank", and here's what I consider to be the top five.

1. Having another shark thrown in our tanks is an invitation to "Say ‘YES!' Passionately to Life!".

Maybe it's simply a form of human insanity to want fewer sharks in our tanks. Throwing ourselves wholeheartedly at the next shark coming at us could well turn out to be the most liberating act of our lives!

2. Maybe the areas of our lives where we're stuck or moving sluggishly means that we don't have enough sharks in the tank.

Sometimes we struggle with the things we think we "should" do and get stuck or have difficulty building any real momentum. What do you need to do to add a shark to that particular tank? Give it some thought, and if you can't think of anything then maybe the real solution is simply setting it aside as a worthwhile goal. What are the benefits of accomplishing that goal? What would be the prices you would pay if you decided to let it go? Is there a more worthwhile goal you could create instead that would have a greater impact on the quality of your life? Would that goal come with a big enough shark for you? Try to struggle with those questions until you're clear you got a "hit".

3. Put sharks in other people's tanks.

Think about it.

At first glance that might sound a little aggressive, but the idea isn't about being aggressive, intimidating or threatening people with how sharp your teeth are. If having a shark in your tank is a beautiful thing, then work with people so that they can benefit from having sharks in their tanks, too. Whether you're a manager, coach, trainer, or consultant - or a husband, mom, son or sister - what are the people in your life struggling with and working towards? Are some of the goals they talk about mere hopes that they can't ever seem to actually pull off?

One great example of putting a shark in someone else's tank was the father who just couldn't seem to manage to quit smoking no matter how hard he tried. His young daughter came home from school crying one day after learning about the dangers for smokers. She was crying because she was afraid that because he smoked he wasn't going to live long enough to be at her wedding someday. It struck him like a two by four and he became a non-smoker that same day. Even though it was an ongoing struggle with stopping, his daughter had put a big enough shark in his tank to keep him struggling.

What sharks do you need to put in the tanks of the people you care about so that they can go on to accomplish their dreams? How can you work with them so that they can begin to appreciate their own sharks and being to put sharks in their own tanks?

4. Strive to remember that we always have a choice about how we think and feel about the different sharks in our tanks.

Let's face it; there are always going to be certain types of sharks that each of us is particularly prone to resisting and have difficulty appreciating, or times when it feels like there's just too many of them and not enough of us to go around - especially in today's world. And you know what? That's ok. Most of us seem to consistently compare how we're doing from day to day to our peak performance level, and the only way to be acknowledged or validated by such a comparison is going to be by waiting for the next occasion when we're operating at our peak performance level again.

It's a peak experience and can't really be compared to our daily lives. Giving a hundred percent of ourselves is not only going to look and feel differently from day to day, but sometimes even from moment to moment. It's so much more valuable to ask ourselves "Did I give a hundred percent?" than it is to ask ourselves "Why didn't I do better? ...or more? ...or something different?" And in those moments when you're choosing to say "NO!" to the sharks in your tank, can you still love, appreciate, and acknowledge yourself and the choices you're making anyway?

5. The sharks in our tanks are lives greatest gift.

Let me guess: you think that one is just too much of a stretch?

When I went to the movie theatre to watch one of the "Lord of the Ring" movies that came out I remember sitting in the theatre really enjoying the movie and appreciating how heroic so many of the characters were. I had a sense that they were all actually really lucky to be on such a grand adventure! I was sort of mulling over the nature of being a hero in the back of mind as I watched Frodo and Sam struggle up the side of the mountain, and then I realized that it actually totally sucked to be them!

They were exhausted, starved, overwhelmed, dirty, thirsty, and homesick - to name a few - and would have gladly traded places with just about anybody on the planet for a nickel.

But in facing the sharks in each of their tanks the characters of the good guys were forged into becoming that person that each of them had known in their hearts they could always be but never knew how to bring it to the world - or perhaps had even dared to hope that they ever would.

Whether it was having a bold new sense of daring or confidence in their lives or finally claiming their greatness that was always there - each of them went on to forge a life for themselves that could simply no longer be mediocre. Their days of mediocrity were behind them forever.

We all long for that particular brand of greatness in our own lives. How differently might it feel to live our lives if we could all acknowledge the hero's journey that each of us is on and that the biggest and baddest sharks in our tanks are really no match for us; and are actually life's greatest gift to us?

Here's hoping you swim with the sharks!

Your partner in saying "YES!" passionately to life,
Tracy A. Turner
www.tracyaturner.com

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Do You Have Enough Sharks In Your Tank?

Posted on Jul 27th, 2006 by Tracy Phaup : CFO/CLO - Chief Fun and Leadership Tracy Phaup

By Tracy A. Phaup
http://www.Tracy-Phaup.com

The Japanese have long been known for their appreciation of Sushi as well as the massive fishing industry that has grown up to support it. What's also been known is that the Japanese have had an unfortunate tendency to over fish their waters in an apparent effort to fish as close to shore as possible so they could bring the freshest fish to market.

As the waters became more and more over fished and captains were forced to go further and further out to sea, Japanese consumers were increasingly unhappy with the quality of the fish that was brought back. As bringing the fish back to shore took longer and longer, they were also lying dead for longer and longer periods of time and the Japanese people could taste the difference.


The fishermen were concerned and were trying to figure out ways to bring the freshest catch back that was possible.


They went to great expense to install freezers on their boats. That way as the fish were caught and began to fill the hold the fisherman could immediately freeze them and preserve as much freshness as possible.


It didn't work; they could still taste the difference and people didn't want to buy their fish.

"Well, " the fisherman thought, "- what if we kept them alive for the entire trip back?"

So now they went to even greater expense to figure out ways to keep the fish in water during the entire trip back so that the fish would still be alive when they reached their port.

But that didn't work, either; they could still taste the difference.


The fishermen were baffled. How could that be possible if the fish were still alive when they reached land? The fish were packed gill to gill as they were being kept alive in the tank... Could that have something to do with it?


After great thought they decided to try something; if the fish tasted less fresh because they were no longer moving in the water, what could they do?


It wasn't a feasible solution for them to make the tanks big enough for the fish to swim freely, but what if they gave the fish a real incentive to struggle to move no matter how closely they were packed?


So they added sharks to their tanks.


Finally the Japanese consumers were unable to taste the difference.


Out of the Japanese fishing industry finding a compelling solution for a powerful problem we can take many lessons about the fabric of our own lives.


It seems that when we encounter problems and complications in our lives a natural reaction to them is an ongoing sense of getting them resolved so we can get back to "normal".


Like the fish, we're wishing there were a lot fewer sharks in our tanks.


And we're commonly encouraged to stop thinking of them as "sharks" and to start thinking of them as "challenges" and "opportunities".


I think that's a lukewarm, half hearted response at best!


I would suggest that the next time we get another shark thrown in our tank a better response is simply a passionate "YES!"


"Yes! I've got another opportunity to struggle into the next phase of who I can be!"


"Yes! I don't get to rest on past accomplishments or coast!"


Yes! I can't wait to see what's on the other side of this shark!"


Maybe it's simply a form of human insanity to want fewer sharks in our tanks and that throwing ourselves wholeheartedly at the next shark coming at us could be the most liberating act of our lives!


Here's hoping you swim with the sharks!


Your partner in saying "YES!" passionately to life,
Tracy A. Phaup
http://www.Tracy-Phaup.com

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Thought For The Day - Asking For Feedback

Posted on Jul 30th, 2006 by Tracy Phaup : CFO/CLO - Chief Fun and Leadership Tracy Phaup

I'm working on getting my "Thought for the day" sorted out; I have people subscribed already and I haven't finished laying even the most basic groundwork yet. yikes!   I've been struggling with what to call it and would really appreciate your feedback.  

(Once I give it a name, the list management software will saddle me with that name for the duration of using it, and of course changing would mean everybody would have to opt in all over again.  Ugly.)  

I plucked "Splendid Torch Productions" out of thin air so that I would at least have something to work with while I'm developing the site   http://www.famous-quotes-and-inspirational-quotes.com/   (Url is a little rough on the typing fingers, eh?)  

It's of course from George Bernard Shaw and his quote about life is no brief candle but instead a splendid torch that I must make burn brightly as possible before passing to future generations.   The idea is that the quote for the day helps towards that.  

But Jim (my honey) helped me cook up "One A Day Thoughts" (although "One A Day Wisdom" alliterates - meaning also has the "w" sound one and wisdom) and a couple of tag lines so far like "Your daily vitamin for the soul" and then when urging people to sign up I could say "it's as important as your daily vitamin".  

It just feels like something that's *almost* there....  

(For anybody outside the US, "One A Day" vitamins are famous here.)  

Charmingly, Jim was also trying to figure out how to add a blurb in there about anti-oxidants and he came up with anti-incidents - the quotes help your life work better and cut down on the incidents.   Isn't that cute?  I guess it could be another line to use in the copy.  

At any rate, I would love any feedback or suggestions that you have to offer.  

Your partner in saying "YES!" passionately to life,
Tracy A. Turner
www.tracyaturner.com

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The Top 10 Daily Habits for Revolutionizing Your Life

Posted on Jul 30th, 2006 by Tracy Phaup : CFO/CLO - Chief Fun and Leadership Tracy Phaup

By Tracy A. Phaup


We're all looking for ways to create massive momentum in our lives. There are daily habits to begin our days with, to use throughout the day, and to end our days with that will create the foundation needed to propel us forward at the velocity of transformation.

1. Start your day with meditation.

The benefits of daily meditation are many and varied, and have been documented for many years. It's an important habit for revolutionizing your life. For one, by quieting the mind it gives you full access to all of your resources, skills, and abilities as you go about the rest of your day. Daily meditation will also deepen your sensitivity and you will find that you are able to notice increasingly subtle cues, both from yourself and your environment, which will dramatically increase your ability to create and respond.

2. Ask yourself, "What can I create today that will have the greatest impact on my life?"

Use this incredibly powerful question to create a goal for your day that will have a revolutionary impact.

3. Before you begin the rest of your day, get clear on what you intend to create.

By getting intentional about your day you not only enact the power of attraction, you formulate a game plan that keeps you from living your day off of a "to do" list or spending your day reacting - there's no real power in that! A powerful way to check in on your intention throughout the day would be to use an electronic watch that chimes on the hour. When you hear the chime stop and check in with the intention you had declared for the day, and get clear about your intention for the next hour.

4. Journal.

Heidegger said that "language is the house of being". Human beings are by nature creators and one of the most powerful tools we have available to us for creating with is language. When we bring our experience to the world with words, whether they're written or spoken, we're actually inventing and creating as we communicate. We also begin to uncover valuable lessons that might have escaped us otherwise. Journaling is a great creative outlet, and reviewing your journal will also often remind you of powerful ideas that you had forgotten.

5. Take care of your body.

Honoring the needs of your body on a daily basis will keep you from creating a revolution that you're too tired or too sick to enjoy! If you're like most people, you already know what you need to do to take proper care of your body - just do it! If you don't know, find out!

6. What worked? What didn't work?

At the end of your day, check in and get in touch with what was effective, and what wasn't. Asking what worked and what didn't work are particularly great questions to use to do this with because they take all of the judgment out of it.

7. WWYRMHD?

It's become popular to ask "What would Jesus do?", but you can also ask yourself what Buddha, Einstein, Thomas Leonard, Lee Iacocca or even your favorite quarterback would do or have done differently, as well as what coaching they would have for you. We all have people that we admire, and we often have different role models for the different areas of our life. What Would Your Role Model Have Done (WWYRMHD)? If they had lived your day or had been there in your situations, what would they have done? If you could talk to them about it, what do you think they would tell you? This is a miraculously powerful way to access wisdom right down through the ages.

8. Ask yourself, "What lessons can I learn from my day?"

What lessons can you learn from your day? What lessons can you carry forward into your day tomorrow that will allow you to be more effective?

9. Ask yourself, "Did I choose to honor my authentic self today?"

This question will always bring you back to what's most important to you. This question invites you to return to your center from even the craziest of days.

10. And finally, acknowledge yourself.

Think of at least 10 things from your day that you can honor and acknowledge yourself for. You've created those wins - honor them - and yourself for creating them. This is a great way to fall asleep. It will change the way you dream during the night, and your subconscious mind will put it to work throughout the entire night. You'll be primed for attraction by morning!

Your partner in saying YES! passionately to life,

Tracy A. Phaup
http://www.Tracy-Phaup.com

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Top Ten Ways To Make Powerful Requests

Posted on Jul 30th, 2006 by Tracy Phaup : CFO/CLO - Chief Fun and Leadership Tracy Phaup

by Tracy A. Phaup

According to some experts there are only two ways to create in the world: making promises and making requests. Here are the Top Ten Ways to make those requests powerful ones.


1. Make them.


Making requests is a major source of power and some people need to start by simply making them. Make requests and make them direct ones. We often make indirect requests by communicating a need and "hoping" that the unspoken request will be heard and honored. Making explicit requests brings these "shoulds" out into the open.


2. Make sure that there's an effective listener - that the request is being heard.


Some people have a more conscious relationship to giving their word than others. Do what needs to be done to make sure that you have a conscious and effective listener to your requests. Otherwise, you could be counting on someone to honor a request that they didn't even really hear.


3. Be specific in exactly what is being asked for.


Get clear about what you need and then eliminate any room for interpretation in getting those needs met. Don't, for example, request "support in going back to school". Make the exact requests that are needed.   "I'm requesting that you take over both fixing dinner - and doing the kids' homework with them - on weeknights so that I can use that time to study."

Otherwise, you're left open to either getting "support" that doesn't actually support you, or getting "support" that you don't even recognize as support and left feeling like the request was never honored.


4. Make sure that there is agreement on the time frame.


This is not only necessary to include as part of a request for it to empower both you and the person accepting the request, it's a powerful way to avoid upsets. Even the simplest of requests like "Would you please take out the trash?" can lead to frustration and upset if there isn't an explicit agreement on the time frame.


Don't make assumptions.


Instead, "Would you please stop what you're doing and take out the trash now?"


5. Get a response. There are three possible responses to a request: yes, no, and a counteroffer.


We're all human beings and we're often tempted to say nothing at all rather than have to say "no". Getting a response makes sure that you're not assuming a "yes" when it's simply an unspoken "no". Also, without a clear cut "yes", there is no commitment being made and much of the real power has been drained out of the request.


"No" is a perfectly legitimate response to a request. If you don't think so, then you're not making requests; you're making demands or taking hostages.


Powerful requests often take some negotiating, and counteroffers are a powerful way to bring people to the "table".


When you're the one being asked to accept a request, get clear on what you would be agreeing to and be willing to say "no".


6. Make requests for something that wasn't going to happen anyway.


Making requests is an underutilized art form and many of us aren't very good at. The kinds of requests people often make are requests for something that was going to happen anyway. Mastering this aspect of requests is like building a muscle and it takes discipline and commitment to develop.


7. Be willing to be responsible for it no matter how it turns out.


Making a request and evoking a commitment to honor it doesn't mean we're done. Powerful requests need to be managed. Being willing to be responsible for it all means that we stay connected to what is being created by our request. Powerful requests may need to be renegotiated to ensure that everyone continues to be set up to win.


Powerful requests also need to be managed with accountability. When we don't hold people accountable for their commitment to honor our requests we send a message that will undermine any commitments they make to us in the future.


Being willing to be responsible for it all gives us the freedom we need to learn all of the lessons that that are available to us from our effectiveness, or our lack of it, at making powerful requests and at managing them.


8. Be powerful.


Be straight, risky, and clean in your communication and open the door wide to simply taking what you get as a response. Take the risk of hearing a "no".


9. Be inspiring.


Make powerful requests that inspire cooperation.


10. Be unreasonable.


Be unreasonable in your expectations of yourself and others far beyond what you think they are capable of. Also be unreasonable in your expectations of others' willingness to support you. Make unreasonable requests! It's the only way to get unreasonable amounts of support.


Your partner in saying "YES!" passionately to life,
Tracy A.  Phaup
http://www.Tracy-Phaup.com

This article may be redistributed freely as long as it is reproduced in it's entirety and fully and properly credited. If you wish to redistribute a shorter version, please contact the author.

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The Top 10 Ways To Profoundly Affect Others

Posted on Jul 30th, 2006 by Tracy Phaup : CFO/CLO - Chief Fun and Leadership Tracy Phaup

by Thomas Leonard

We all affect others anyway. Why not affect them profoundly? Here are 10 proven ways to do this, all of which will make you a lot more attractive to others and to yourself.

1. Listen for and point out the special gifts, traits or talents of the other person.

Most people are listening for what they need from the other person. When you're listening for what's special or unique about a person -- and point it out -- you'll very much affect them positively, with very, very little effort on your part. What if you did this during every conversation you had for the rest of your life? Hmm, sounds pretty attractive to me.

2. Listen and respond-in-kind to the underlying emotion of the other person.

Facts and information are valuable, but are rarely profound. What is profound is people, emotions and concepts. Next time you're listening to your child, client or friend, feel what they are feeling and respond in kind to that, instead of just to what they are saying. Feelings are the fastest way to the person's heart.

3. Deliver nuggets/messages that can be remembered and retransmitted.

There is something called memes, which are basically the idea-equivalent of genes. Read Richard Brodie's book "Virus of the Mind" for the complete story. But the idea is that when you can package information, concepts or truth into nugget-sized packages, they don't only land easily on the person you're talking to, but that person can pass them on to others easily, like a virus. Virus, get it? The biggest thing in life right now is the competition between memes and genes. (By the way, memes will win because they can mutate and retransmit millions of times faster than genes can.) So, become memetically attractive. In other words, have simple, worthwhile, intriguing things to say. It's as simple as that.

4. Have so accepted and endorsed your worst weaknesses that others feel safe around you.

A lot of attraction works without you having to 'work it.' It happens by itself, behind the scenes. And one of the ways to profoundly affect others is to be so 'over yourself' that they, too, can get over themselves. We're all gripped by eye-popping fears and compelling desires, but when you've reached that place in life where you aren't affected by any of this stuff -- because you've fully accepted your humanness, faults AND talents, then others can have the same experience of themselves. It's magical. And profoundly attractive.

5. Open up new worlds for people, in their thinking, feeling or priorities.

In other words, pull the rug out from folks whenever you can, but quickly give them a new chair to plop into on their way down. You can draw a missing distinction, question an antiquated assumption, challenge a strongly-held belief, plant a seed of a different crop, ask a strong inquiry-type question or give them words to express what they are barely able to sense. Okay, so that's a lot to learn if the above communication skills are new to you. But, boy are they fun!

6. Show others how to experience better what they already have.

The point of unhooking yourself from the future and focusing more on today is made elsewhere in one of the Attraction Principles. But that principle is the parent of this one -- to show others how to better use and make more of what they already have, whether it be a problem or a gift. Most folks are so future oriented that they miss out on the opportunities staring right at them in the present. Be their eyes and ears for a minute and help them see the value of what's already all around them.

7. Remind people who they are instead of just complimenting them on what they've done.

Praise and acknowledgment is nice, but that's a bit like telling your dog that his tail wags really well. Huh? The idea here is to focus on the person behind the accomplishment or problem. It's the fundamental distinction of who vs what. When you help the person get more in touch with the who (they are), they'll produce better whats. If you focus primarily on the whats, you'll soon be expecting the tail to wag the dog.

8. Give people something meaningful to do.

I don't understand why, but most people are pretty bored. They are waiting
for something interesting and meaningful to do. It seems that most people are being drugged by television, thus live in a sort of an excited stupor, if that's possible. So, if you're someone who is up to something and are willing to include people in on your game or project, most people will get meaning from that -- from being asked to play, but also by the game itself and the people they meet along the way. If you're working on a project, OPEN IT UP and profoundly affect a lot of other people. It's a perfect path to attraction.

9. Give people the tools they need to improve and evolve.

The beginning of my evolving to computers happened in 1987 when the MIS director where I worked said he had an extra copy of Lotus 1-2-3 and asked if I wanted it. I barely knew that I should want it, but I faked a resounding 'Sure!' That single event changed my life forever and it took him about 10 seconds. He offered me a tool that, for some reason, he felt would help me. And it opened up a new world for me even though I no longer use Lotus 1-2-3, or even a spreadsheet! What tools do you currently have available to you that would profoundly affect others? Share all them.

10. Don't try to profoundly affect others.

 Okay, I had to toss this one in here. The idea is that the objective here is not to profoundly affect others. Because that'll get you into trouble, especially when they don't want to be profoundly affected. "Get away from me!" they'll shriek. You get the picture. However, what you can do is to care for others and share the above stuff with those who want it. That way, 'profoundly affecting' others won't become your cause, banner or reason for living. That would be pretty unattractive.


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